Phases

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I just came off of a frenzy of writing. For the last few weeks, I was pouring my soul onto the page, writing my new album. I finished last week. There was immense relief in finishing. I felt immense satisfaction, a sense of awe, even, that I had been able to channel so much. Because it feels like channeling. When I’m writing, I feel like a vessel as much as an agent. It’s a kind of dance.

Now that I’m done writing, I am not waking up each morning to go to my sacred place (the screened-in porch) to create. I am not carrying my notebook with me everywhere I go. In fact, my notebook is sitting right where I left it when I finished the last song for my new album – on the couch in my porch on top of a blanket right next to a well-worn rhyming dictionary. It’s sitting right there. It has been for days. That part of the process is over. When I was in the midst of it I felt deeply connected to my identity as a writer. I think I even asserted it to Shawn offhandedly a few times during completely unrelated conversations that I am a writer and so… etc. I felt solidly like my identity was that thing.

And now I’m done with the writing. My notebook sits, full and unused. That phase is over for now. For this album. For this cycle. It’s time for the next step of the process.

The next phase is to record. Before that is pre-production with the producer. And then the recording. And I love recording almost more than anything else. It’s a sacred time in a sacred space, like worshipping in a church of music. It’s the time when all energy is directed to the craft. To the perfection of the craft. To the polishing of the craft. It’s ecstasy. I am really looking forward to that part. The recording is perhaps the most active part of the cycle. The most dynamic. The most communal – you are communing with other artists, communicating on a truly telepathic level. Minds meet in the ether and dance together. Music emerges. There are many takes. Or not. In the end, the magic is captured, like sun-printing. Like breath in a bottle. Like impressions in wet sand.

I am looking forward to all of the upcoming phases. I am really looking forward to the recording. I am really looking forward to having a final product. I am really looking forward to creating the album art. Writing the liner notes. Crafting an album.

But, right now, I am in this phase. I just finished writing. The rest is still ahead. And I am enjoying each step. Each phase. Because each step is a new creative outlet. Each step lets me exercise another part of my soul – writing, singing, envisioning, channeling, designing, crafting. It’s a process I love. Each phase. And there is nothing in the world that I would rather do. I love it with all my heart, all my soul, all of my being. And sometimes I can hardly believe that I get to do this in my life. Through all the ups and downs, there is nothing else I would rather do. And, the more I do it, the more it builds into something that can carry me. A sustaining wave. I have put so much energy into it with the hope, the faith, the blind and ardent belief, that it will sustain me. And it does.